I left school less than a week ago, and in the past five days, I’ve had time to do a lot more seemingly useless thinking than I’m used to doing. Not that I’m complaining at all, though; I love spending my time thinking. Sometimes it leads to something spectacular.
And other times it leads to things like this:
Crushes that I have on men who are just a bit too old for me
1. Seth Meyers (age 39): anchor on Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update, head writer of SNL, cutest damn thing on late-night television.
2. Scott Patterson (age 54): better known as Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls, Philadelphia native, sarcastic and rugged and ugh.
3. Andy Samberg (age 34): actor and Grammy- and Emmy-nominated comedian, NYU graduate, absolutely adorable and Jewish.
4. John Mayer (age 35): exceptional guitarist, mediocre human being, beautiful man.
5. Dave Grohl (age 44): multi-instrumentalist for bands such as Foo Fighters and Nirvana, angsty and edgy, rock star DILF.
6. Luke Bryan (age 36): plays country music, belongs in a Wrangler jeans commercial, should throw a barbecue in my backyard.
7. Bradley Cooper (age 38): successful actor, also a Philadelphia native, so close yet so far.
8. Ryan Key (age 33): lead singer and rhythm guitarist for Yellowcard, pop punk royalty, married to not me.
And I think that’s it. Anyone under 29 is fair game. And now it’s after 3:00 am, and I’m still not tired after all of this. What is my life coming to?